by Kris Vosler
directed by Phil Myers
Performances to be held at Beatniks On Conkey,
420 Conkey Street, Hammond, IN
Sunday October 1, 2023 5:00 PM
Monday October 2 7:00 PM
December 8, 2023, at 7:30 p.m.
December 9, at 7:30 p.m.
Sunday, December 10, at 2:00 p.m.
Friday, December 15, at 7:30 p.m.
Saturday, December 16, at 7:30 p.m.
Sunday, December 17, at 2:00 p.m.
What if the
three wise men werenít really all that wise? What if they were
just three ordinary guys, avoiding conflicts at home, who
happened upon the greatest story ever told?
Set the entire story in modern day
America, sprinkle in a little redneck humor, and you
have the smash A Good Old Fashioned Redneck Country
Christmas! Bill, Dave, and Jimmy have had it with their
women! Even though itís Christmas Eve, and tradition
dictates they should be home, drinking hot cocoa and
singing carols, the boys decide to high-tail it into the
mountains for a little hunting and a lot of beer.
This protest does nothing to improve the
mood of the women back in town. Lou runs Louís Diner.
She and Bill and have been trying (unsuccessfully) to
have a baby. Barbie Jo, Louís head waitress, is married
to Dave, and they have kids, but Daveís not interested
in family this year. Darlene, the most beautiful girl in
three counties is dating Jimmy, but while sheís ready to
settle down, Jimmy canít stand the idea of
ďcommittmentĒ. Itís gonna take a Christmas miracle to
get these redneck families back together! Thank God one
just came to town!
Need 4 female and 5 male actors
Bob/Bobbi (Narrator)- Bob is a semi driver whose
truck just broke down on Christmas Eve. Heís/Sheís spending
the day at Louís Dinner hoping his/her truck will be fixed
before the blizzard strikes. He/she shares the story of what
happens in Christmas as seen through his calm wise eyes. (Part
could be male or female).
Louise Wexler- Lou is a bundle of energy as she
takes control of the stage like she takes control of her
diner. Everyone values Louís opinion. She is always moving,
dispensing tough, no-nonsense wisdom as she bounces from one
task to the next.
Bill Wexler- Bill is a retired Marine who served
in the Gulf War and is married to Lou. He owns a trail guiding
business and loves hiking, fishing, and hunting. Of all the
men, Bill understands women and relationships. He doesnít take
orders from the boys but his philosophy concerning women is
generally to do as Lou says.
Dave Fox- Dave is a typical married father of
two who owns a butcher shop. He loves to crack jokes to avoid
any real discussion of the issues. Deep down inside, he loves
his wife and family. However, he feels his mother-in-law
is way too much to deal with at Christmas.
Barbie Jo Fox- Barbie Jo is the beleaguered wife
of Dave. She is always a bit frazzled as she has two children
and Dave to raise. Her mother never lets her forget that she
could have married better, gotten a better education and
generally done better in life if she hadnít married Dave. She
works at the diner and is Louís right-hand girl.
Jimmy Weaver- Jimmy is engaged to Darlene but,
considers himself a ladyís man. Heís cute and charming, but
not terribly smart. He is woefully lacking in any
understanding of what women want from a man. He is a down home
farm boy who loves to fish and hunt and basically does
whatever he pleases.
Darlene Fulmer- Darlene is a typical rodeo
queen. No hairstyle is too big, no jewelry is too outrageous.
She is a complete innocent who accepts everything at face
value. What she lacks in smarts she makes up in heart. She met
Jimmy two years ago and hopes to marry him.
Mary Sue Archer- Mary Sue is a pregnant teen who
shows up in the middle of the chaos and brings the true gift
of Christmas. She is tired and unkept and desperately in need
Mark Riley- Mark is in college and is the son of
the towns doctor. He has a huge crush on Darlene, but heís
never told her. Heís nerdy and shy but never judge a book by
Auditions will consist of readings from the script and
will be held at Beatniks on Conkey on the Other Side at 418
Conkey, Hammond IN. Rehearsals will begin the week of October
Contact the director: